Making Grief Visible – To Tatoo or Not To Tatoo
As tattoos have moved from the purview of sailors and subcultures like bikers into the mainstream, memorial tattoos have become more and more common. If you are considering commemorating the life of your loved one in a permanent way, you have probably already taken a lot of time to plan the design and decide where you want to place it on your body. There is significant healing to be found through the process of visible
Survivor’s guilt is a term that’s used in traumatic situations. It describes the feelings of guilt felt by someone who survives a situation when others did not. Often it refers to a situation such as a car accident or suicide. The surviving individual struggles with feelings of guilt, either as to why they survived instead of their loved one, or why couldn’t they save them. Recently however, I was introduced to an expanded meaning of
The holiday season is over. Kids are back at school, decorations are packed away (or getting there!) and eating habits are returning from holiday free-for-all to a semblance of healthfulness. For many people, it can be very anti-climactic after the excitement of the festive season. “Post-holiday slump” can feel grey and disappointing. For people who are grieving though, it might feel entirely different. January feels like the month when you can breathe again. January is
I don’t know what to say… A common thought after someone you know has lost a loved one. What are the right words, what should you say? Just outside of Edmonton, AB in the town of Leduc, a workplace accident on November 15, 2018 led to the death of three workers. The tragedy was felt by many who work in similar industrial settings and many people mourned the men who lost their lives, even if
Have you been wearing a poppy? Lots of people in Canada, Australia, New Zealand, South Africa, and the UK pin a poppy over their hearts in the weeks before Remembrance Day, do you?  This tradition stems from the poem In Flanders Fields with its imagery of poppies blowing between the tombstone crosses in a World War I graveyard. What’s your reason for wearing a poppy? Maybe you want to support the work of the Legion
Does anyone know where I can find a copy of the rules of thought, feeling, and behavior in these circumstances? It seems like there should be a rule book somewhere that lays out everything exactly the way one should respond to a loss like this. I'd surely like to know if I'm doing it right. Am I whining enough or too much? Am I unseemly in my occasional moments of lightheartedness? At what date am I supposed to turn off the emotion and jump back on the treadmill of normalcy? Is there a specific number of days or decades that must pass before I can do something I enjoy without feeling I've betrayed my dearest love? And when, oh when, am I ever really going to believe this has happened? Next time you're in a bookstore, as if there's a rule book
Jim Beaver, Life's That Way: A Memoir
“Grief lasts longer than sympathy, which is one of the tragedies of the grieving.”
Elizabeth McCracken
“How can it be that there is such a colossal gap between what we think we know about grief and mourning and what we actually find out when it comes to us?”
Jim Beaver, Life's That Way: A Memoir
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